Sometimes I wonder if I were to see myself walking down the street would I recognize myself? Is the image in the mirror a true representation of what I really look like? My mirror reveals a woman with blond hair and fair skin that is slowly (I hope slowly) becoming creased and crinkled. Her skin is more translucent and delicate. Funny I rarely notice her blue eyes, but they are blue. The truth is-- she is going to be 50 years old in a few weeks. Did I say 50 years old? Me?
I did not mind 30 or 40 but just hearing the words 50 makes me want to cry. Why? I will be on the other side of life, getting to closer to the old age and the do I dare say it...death? I've always looked forward to a new year and have had many of those "New Year Resolutions" , but not so much this year. I was telling this to Hart and I told him that I picture aging as a step ladder. One begins at the bottom and work his way up. Fifty is on the top and it is downhill from there. He said to imagine the ladder as an extension ladder with fifty being in the middle and you have the rest of your life stretching out in front of you. Which I must say it a more positive way to view this fearsome subject. Hmmmm...
So I will smile at becoming 50. I will learn to love this new decade in my life. From now on when I see my outer reflection I will think, there goes a vibrant woman who loves her husband and wants to continue to spend the rest of her life with him. She lives to be outdoors, to walk her Yorkie and run with her teenagers, to canoe and swim at Aylen, to cook and eat, to laugh at a good movie and to cry too, to be a friend to her daughters and sisters, and a grandmother to her darling Ela. She smiles at the sunrise each day and can't get enough of music; the music of Bach, Michael Buble, of her daughters playing either the piano or violin..... and of the songs of birds. She thanks God for waking her up each morning and letting her rest each night in a warm, safe place. She wants all that God has in store for her and to do all that God has for her to do. She wants to mirror Jesus in her life and for it to be his reflection that is seen in her.
It's as a former pastor once said, "Often we just tolerate life rather than celebrate it". I will become an intolerant woman:)